That’s what Flaubert’s Bouvard and Pecuchet said at the end of their novel. They run through their money, exhaust all of western culture, and decide that they are best off back at their desks, side by side, practicing their trade as clerks. The Dictionary of Received Wisdom was published as a sort of appendix to this novel.
From the Dictionary:
Abelard: No need to have any notion of his philosophy, nor even to know the titles of his works. Just refer discreetly to his mutilation by Fulbert. The grave of Abelard and Heloise: if someone tells you it is apocryphal, exclaim: “You rob me of my illusions!”
Academy, French: Run it down, but try to belong to it if you can.
Accident: Always “regrettable” or “unlucky”—as if a mishap might sometimes be a cause for rejoicing.
America: Famous example of injustice: Columbus discovered it and it is named after Amerigo Vespucci. If it weren’t for the discovery of America, we should not be suffering from syphilis and phylloxera[grape disease]. Exalt it all the same, especially if you’ve never been there. Lecture people on self-government.
Baldness: Always “premature,” caused by youthful excesses—or by the hatching of great thoughts.
Classics: You’re supposed to know all about them.
Descartes: Cogito ergo sum.
Earth: Refer to its four corners since it is round.
Eunuch: Never can have children…Fulminate against the castrati singers of the Sistine Chapel
Funeral: About the deceased: “To think that I had dinner with him a week ago.” Called obsequies if it’s a general; inhumation if it’s a philosopher.
Gordian Knot: Has to do with antiquity. (The way the ancients tied their neckties.)
Ideals: Perfectly useless.
Idiots: Those who differ from you.
Illiad: Always followed by Odyssey.
Imperialists: All honest, polite, peaceable, charming people.
Impiety: Thunder against.
Italy: Should be seen immediately after marriage. Is very disappointing–not nearly so beautiful as people say.
Laconic: Idiom no longer spoken.
Louis XVI: Always: “that unfortunate monarch.”
Medical Students: Sleep next to corpses. Some even eat them.
Newspapers: One can’t do without–but must be thundered against…
Pyramid: Useless edifice.
Sybarites: Thunder against.
Tags: flaubert, Literature
